They've 'introduced" new bills - got different colors, those little holograph thingies, make it harder to counterfeit.
Goodie.
"cept, or course, they didn't make ENOUGH of the freaking things, so they are in short supply.
Sort of like a lot of other stuff goes on 'round here - keep in mind the "we don't have the stickers yet but will let you know as soon as we get them" story you got this year from the wonderful folks at the LTO (DMV in the Real World).
As I'm casually sorting out the bills, Fe points out rather gently that I have managed to put two different denominations TOGETHER.
Dumbass!
Thing is, some of the new bills are pretty close to the same color as the old bills but of different denominations - so deal is, be aware if you are inna dark place and just a wee bit into the Hunter S mode of "when the going gets tough, the tough turn pro."
Now about that WALLET you insist on shlepping along with you for no known reason since all of them plastic cards 'n shit ain't of NO fucking use 'round here.
If you MUST, at least put a nice thick rubber band around the thing, and for God's SAKE, always put it in your front pocket - preferably with snaps or velcro or a zipper for REAL security...but NEVER NEVER NEVER in your back pocket like you normally do. The rubber band will snag onna pocket and help you notice that some little cocksucking motherfucker is attempting to off your wallet may he die the death of a thousand cuts!
Or maybe that device Kafka went on about "In The Penal Colony?"
Back inna day when I was coming up, my cool uncle taught me how to deal with "large" bills inna store. If ya gonna pay with a fifty or a hunnert - ok, listen I'm sorry for not being more multi-national and including YOUR money but that's what happens when you is a 'murican - ya deal in what ya know, ya know?
He said always put a little mark onna big bill - a star, a zero, a explanation point - anything except writing which he said was illegal but any sort of defacing is illegal but no one gives a shit...he USED to just rip off a small corner of the bill if he didn't have a pen, but THAT would NOT work here, since they wouldn't take the bill.
So, mark a larger bill, and expecially in a bar, always good to say "I'm giving you a 500, ok?"
This way, any problem with short change, at least ya got a SHOT to prove your case - "hey, I know, my bill had a little star on it, how about you look inna drawer, take a look?"
Last but not least, here's how they teach the sight-impaired to fold their money so they can recognize it...
Of course, this works fucking GREAT - but you gotta use that old buggaboo of a wallet, but we covered that already.
