2 inna morning.
Dead quiet at casacrumple.
Licking the spoon I used to finish some local coffee-flavored ice cream.
About the same as real coffee ice cream, as plastic tits were to Dorothy Strattons (if you kept her Playboy pictures stashed under your mattress along with a crusty sock, kindly raise your least-sticky hand).
I'm tapping my toes to Little Feat’s Dixie Chicken, watching Fe do her eternal cross-stitch. Aimlessly bobbing her head up'n down to the music, almost on beat.
She says she's now come to like my music.
Who knows?
I can't stand hers. Like elevator music for the eternal brain-dead. Worst inna fucking world. Worse even than elevator music on Xanax. I mean, c’mon, pop music from Korea?
Wearing only satiny-black extra-small panties, ordered from the naughty girls-r-Us department of Victoria Secret, she suddenly glances over at me with a mischievous grin...
Get's up slowly.
Saunters like melting butter to the stand alone freezer.
Leans over on tip-toes, thigh and calf muscles tightening.
Plucks out her very own container of Spawn-of-Satan durian flavored ice cream.
Durian.
Talk about Spawn-of-Satan.
Smells like a crack-naughty girl's pussy.
Naturally, they make ice cream outta this shit.
The stink ain't near as bad as when the fruit is fresh - but still, the evilness of the odor’s enough to curl your nostril hair into a quite respectable Afro.
Lotta stuff like that here, masquerading as food?
Worst though is dried fish.
Most expats won't allow it in a house, much less being cooked.
The stink - like a first wife - lingers eternally.
Today though, I discovered something that stunned me into a post-Apocalyptic silence...
Even now, just thinkin' about it, makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
Was inna Market, pawing through the usual chaotic jumble of ice cream, when...
Nah, can't be. Must be my eyes? Cataracts growing back maybe?
Pick up the heavily frozen package.
Squint at the teeny-tiny type on the label.
Cheese.
Flavor.
Ice Cream.
Thoughts of what type of cheese flashed through my brain...
Swiss? Edam? Sharp Cheddar?
Check please.
